How Mindset Became My Most Powerful Leadership Tool
In my work with leaders across industries from technology and healthcare to construction and professional services—I’ve noticed that mindset is consistently overlooked, even though it’s the foundation of solid culture, effective training, organizational performance, and everything else.
It’s tempting to treat mindset as an afterthought, something you only address after the strategic plan is finalized, the KPIs are defined, the big client contract is signed, or the quarterly targets are met.
But the most impactful leaders and entrepreneurs I’ve met understand that self-mastery isn’t a luxury reserved for late-career reflection. It’s the engine that sustains every high-performing culture, every innovative idea, and every bold decision you make.
I learned this lesson in the hardest way imaginable.
During my deployment in Afghanistan, I survived a suicide bombing at Bagram Air Base that took the lives of people I respected and called friends. The day it happened, the chaos was unimaginable.
But what no one prepared me for was the battle afterward, the long nights replaying every second and asking myself why I made it out when others didn’t.
That experience left me with a heavy burden of survivor’s remorse. I felt like I had to prove, over and over, that I was worthy of still being here. I thought if I just worked harder, achieved more, or stayed busy enough, I could outrun the guilt.
But guilt is a relentless companion. It hollowed out my confidence and narrowed my perspective. It made me defensive, even when I was leading well.
It wasn’t until I faced that pain head-on and learned to forgive myself for surviving that everything began to change. I realized that mindset determines whether you keep reliving the same internal battles or start building something meaningful.
In my book, Own Your Kingdom, I write about reclaiming your narrative and taking radical ownership of your life. But what does that look like if you’re leading teams, driving change, or scaling a business?
What does it mean when you want to build something that outlives your tenure—and maybe even you?
Below are five mindset shifts that, in my experience, separate leaders who merely perform from those who transform their organizations—and themselves.
Forgiveness is the First Step to Growth
Many organizations invest heavily in performance management, employee engagement surveys, and culture initiatives. Yet few leaders pause to consider the hidden cost of unprocessed guilt and shame. These are the forces that drain creativity and courage from teams.
I’ve coached executives who never forgave themselves for a failed acquisition, a poorly handled layoff, or a project that went sideways under their watch. That guilt showed up as overcompensation, defensiveness, or a reluctance to trust others.
The power of self-forgiveness lies in acknowledging that imperfection is an inherent part of the process. When you model forgiveness, you show your people that mistakes are not a life sentence. They are tuition payments for growth.
Action Step: Reflect on a decision you still carry shame or guilt about. Write a letter of forgiveness to yourself, acknowledging the context, the lesson learned, and why you are releasing it now. Then, in your next team meeting, share one thing you’ve learned from a misstep. You’ll be surprised at how quickly psychological safety expands when you take the first step.
Visualization Isn’t Woo-Woo
If you can’t see the future you’re building, you can be sure no one else will either.
Visualization isn’t wishful thinking.
It’s one of the most practical, research-backed tools leaders can use to drive performance. When you vividly imagine yourself taking action and achieving a positive result, you activate the same neural pathways your brain uses during real execution.
Mental rehearsal builds confidence, sharpens focus, and strengthens resilience long before you ever step into the real moment.
Georges St-Pierre, considered one of the greatest athletes in combat sports, put it perfectly: “The key to effective visualization is to create the most detailed, clear, and vivid picture to focus on as possible. The more vivid the visualization, the more likely and quickly you are to begin attracting the things that help you achieve what you want to get done.”
The clarity gleaned from visualization serves as a compass when setbacks inevitably arise, because you’re anchored to what you’re building, rather than what’s going wrong. Visualization creates the connective tissue that unites diverse people around a shared sense of purpose and possibility.
When you take the time to picture the business you want to create down to how it feels to walk into the office, how your customers talk about you, and how your team feels about working together you’re programming your mind to recognize and act on the opportunities that bring that vision to life.
Action Step: Block 10 minutes this week to write a detailed description of your organization three years from now. Capture the mood, the culture, the quality of relationships, and your leadership style. Then share this vision with a coach or colleague, and work through the question: “What would it take to make this real?”
Vulnerability Is Strength
I used to believe that vulnerability would undermine my credibility. After all, what would people think if I admitted I didn’t have all the answers?
What if they questioned my competence?
What I discovered is that vulnerability opens us up to trust, innovation, and authentic leadership. In a world where uncertainty is the only constant, your people don’t need a flawless figurehead. They need a leader who can say, “I’m not sure, but I’m committed to figuring it out together.”
If you create space for honesty, your team will meet you there. And that shared honesty becomes your most durable asset.
Action Step: In your next one-on-one, share a challenge you’re working through professionally. Then ask, “What’s one thing I could do to better support you right now?” You’ll deepen trust in one conversation.
Self-Belief Is the Keystone of Sustainable Success
I have sat across from founders who have raised millions in funding and executives whose résumés read like case studies in achievement. Yet behind closed doors, many were haunted by the belief that they didn’t deserve any of it.
If you don’t believe you are worthy of success, you will find subtle ways to undermine yourself. You’ll overwork to the point of exhaustion, second-guess decisions you know are sound, and defer to voices with less clarity and conviction.
Self-belief isn’t about arrogance or pretending you have all the answers. It’s the conviction that you belong at the table, that you can learn, adapt, and create value even when you don’t have everything figured out. It’s what allows you to show up fully, without apology.
One of the simplest and most powerful ways to strengthen that conviction is to build a habit of recognizing your progress. Self-gratitude shifts your attention away from what’s missing and toward what’s working, even on the hardest days.
Action Step: Each evening this week, write down three things you did that you’re genuinely grateful for. They don’t have to be monumental maybe you showed up to a difficult conversation with empathy, got out of bed when you didn’t feel your best, or landed a six-figure client engagement. The size of the action doesn’t matter. What matters is honoring the fact that you showed up. This daily practice will help you see your worth more clearly.
Perception Is Contagious—Be Intentional About Yours
Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
Your perception shapes both your reality and that of your team.
If you consistently view setbacks as threats, you will cultivate a culture that shies away from risk and failure, leading to stagnation or worse, deflation. If you approach challenges as opportunities to learn, you will create an environment where people lean in rather than withdraw.
Your mindset doesn’t stay contained within you. It ripples outward, influencing decisions, morale, and performance.
Action Step: The next time you encounter a setback, pause and reframe it. Instead of asking, “Why did this happen to us?” ask, “What is this here to teach us?” Then communicate that reframing to your team.
A Case Study in Mindset Transformation
Consider the story of Maya, a senior talent management leader at a rapidly growing technology company.
Maya was brilliant, respected, and deeply committed to her team’s success. However, over the years, her drive for excellence devolved into a defensive, sometimes narcissistic leadership style that left her team feeling disempowered and dismissed.
Maya knew. She could sense the distance growing. But she didn’t understand why she was showing up that way when, internally, she felt proud of her team and believed in their abilities.
When we began working together through a coaching partnership, we uncovered an early career experience in which Maya’s vulnerability had been weaponized against her. She had learned to equate openness with risk, and risk with pain.
So she built armor. That armor looked like confidence on the outside but masked an internal narrative of fear and inadequacy.
Maya committed to rewriting that story.
She practiced self-forgiveness for the moments she had been harsh or dismissive. She began visualizing the kind of leader she wanted to be someone whose confidence didn’t come at the expense of her team’s agency. She started small, sharing her learning journey openly in team meetings and inviting feedback.
The shift wasn’t instant. But over the months, she began leading with empathy.
Engagement scores improved. Turnover slowed. People started bringing her problems early, instead of after they had festered. Maya’s transformation didn’t come from another certification or performance framework. It came from the decision to do the deep work of mindset change.
Her story is a reminder: You can’t expect your people to grow if you’re unwilling to develop yourself.
The Bottom Line
Mindset isn’t a side project to tackle once you’ve optimized your operations and hit your targets. It’s the infrastructure that holds everything together when the market shifts, when your plans fall apart, and when the stakes feel impossibly high.
Self-forgiveness. Visualization. Vulnerability. Self-belief. Intentional perception is the difference between a leader who performs and one who transforms.
You already have a mindset. The only question is whether it’s designed to serve your purpose or sabotage it.
Reflection and Action
This week, choose one of these five practices to focus on. Schedule time on your calendar to act on the action step. Then, at the end of the week, ask yourself:
At the end of the week, ask yourself: What changed when I led from this place? Did my conversations feel different? Did my team respond differently? Did I notice more ease, clarity, or confidence in the way I showed up?
If you’re ready to explore these ideas more deeply or want support building them into your leadership practice, let’s connect.
You deserve a business and a life you don’t need a vacation from.
