Leaders are often told to be strong, steady, and composed. We expect to have all the answers, hold the team together, and set the tone no matter what happens behind the scenes. But what if I told you that leadership—especially empathetic leadership—requires something even deeper than grit or confidence?
It requires vulnerability.
I learned the hard way that hiding pain doesn’t heal it. For years, I suffered in silence, battling depression and PTSD. I searched for peace in all the wrong places—at the bottom of a bottle or in relationships where neither of us was emotionally whole. I blacked out to avoid the pain, the memories, the nightmares. I tried to live like everything was okay, but pretending only deepened the wounds.
It wasn’t until I embraced vulnerability that real healing began.
Why Vulnerability Matters in Leadership
Empathetic leadership isn’t just about caring for others—it’s about creating a space where people feel safe bringing their whole selves to work. And we can’t ask others to show up fully if we’re not willing to do the same. When leaders are willing to be real, to admit when they’re struggling or when they don’t have all the answers, it signals to the team that honesty and authenticity are not only accepted—they’re valued.
Vulnerability builds trust.
Think about the leaders who have most impacted your life. Chances are, it wasn’t because they were flawless. It was because they were human. They shared their journey. They admitted mistakes. They were approachable, relatable, and empathetic. That’s the kind of leader people want to follow.
The Cultural Barrier to Vulnerability
Culturally, many of us have been conditioned to “suck it up,” to bury our feelings, and to avoid anything that might look like weakness. From an early age, we’re taught that strength is about endurance, not expression.
But where has that gotten us?
Broken relationships. Unaddressed trauma. A rising suicide rate among men across all communities.
According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention , men died by suicide 3.85 times more often than women in 2022. The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs 2024 National Suicide Prevention Annual Report, suicide was the 2nd-leading cause of death for Veterans under age 45 years old. These numbers reflect a broader crisis rooted in emotional isolation and societal pressure to be invulnerable. Many of these deaths are preventable—but only if we create a culture that supports emotional expression, mental wellness, and proactive care.
The challenge is that we often don’t feel safe being vulnerable. We’ve internalized beliefs that strength means silence and resilience means never asking for help. But that mindset is killing us—literally and figuratively.
Leading Through Lived Experience
Today, I’m living proof that you can turn pain into purpose. I’ve been to the edge and made it back. I’m the founder of a coaching firm that focuses on helping others—especially those in leadership positions by duty—break free from the cycles of trauma that keep us stuck.
I see a therapist regularly. I speak openly about my mental health. I’ve learned that when you open up, healing begins. You find your purpose. And most importantly, your story becomes a source of inspiration and strength for someone else.
Empathetic leaders’ real impact lies here—not just in what they achieve but in how they show up for themselves and others.
How to Foster Vulnerability in the Workplace
If you want to lead with empathy, you must lead with vulnerability. Here are a few ways to start:
- Model It Yourself: Be honest about your experiences. Share your growth journey and the challenges you’ve faced. You don’t have to overshare, be you.
- Create Safe Spaces: Allow people to speak up in meetings, check-ins, and casual conversations. Encourage transparency and reward honesty.
- Offer Resources: Normalize therapy, coaching, and mental health days. Ensure your team knows that getting help is not a sign of weakness but a courageous act of self-care.
- Check In Regularly: Don’t just ask how your team is doing—ask how they’re really doing. Be prepared to listen without judgment.
- Challenge Harmful Norms: Speak out against toxic workplace cultures that equate stoicism with strength. Advocate for policies that support mental and emotional wellness.
The Avalanche Effect of Courage
Let’s normalize saying, “I’m not okay.” Let’s create space for healing by sharing our truths. Whenever we choose to be vulnerable, we permit others to do the same. We model a new kind of strength—one rooted in compassion, connection, and courage.
True freedom can only be achieved when you are in the right frame of mind—one of abundance. As a leader, your influence extends far beyond your title or position. You can shape culture, challenge stigma, and guide people toward success and wholeness.
So, I challenge you: Be the leader who chooses humanity over perfection. Be the leader who speaks up, even when it’s hard. Be the leader who chooses vulnerability as a strength—not just for yourself, but for those silently waiting to follow your lead.
Because the truth is—vulnerability is our greatest strength.
Jevon Wooden, CEO and Founder of BrightMind Consulting Group, is a speaker, trainer, certified coach, and business consultant. He specializes in empathetic leadership, emotional intelligence, and workplace culture. A U.S. Army veteran and Bronze Star recipient, Jevon is the author of From Functional to Phenomenal: The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Transforming Your Leadership and Business, where he introduces his 5Y Framework for clarity, confidence, and sustainable growth.
His work has been featured in Entrepreneur, Forbes, Inc. Magazine, and Fast Company.
